Scarlet Ink With Njeri

Psalm 103:13: "As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him."

Earthly fathers have been given such an envious office to display, albeit imperfectly, how deeply God loves us. The lengths a father would go to provide for his family’s food, clothing, shelter, stability and the emotional security needed for them to face the world are akin to the great lengths that our God went to, to secure our salvation and snatch us back from the grip of sin and death. I know fully well that this is a disproportionate comparison for indeed, what God has done for us is far much greater than what any earthly father at his best could do.

Nevertheless, fathers who embody this role have never been as worthy of our admiration and praise as they are now, especially because, such fathers have become the rarity rather than the norm.

It takes great sacrifice and courage to be present and care for one’s children when workmates keep calling , asking why you’re not at the weekend party, again. It takes courage to be gentle in correction while others may perceive gentleness as weakness – a proper father should never have to repeat himself to a child, whatsoever. It takes courage to sit down and read the bible with your family at the end of an exhausting day when your body is yearning for a restful, early bedtime.. It takes courage to follow through and discipline your children minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day when you’d rather throw in the towel and leave them to their devices.

Growing up, I was lucky to have one such father. Was he perfect? Far from it. But how genuinely and how deeply he loved us all. I still remember the words of the lullaby he would sing for us as we drifted off to sleep in our 4 by 6 bed. My little brother, my elder brother and I, huddled together in our shared space.
I was only eleven When the doctors told him that he had only six months to live and the first question he asked my aunt after learning this was;” who will look after Njeri when I’m gone? “
God has! I will share another day, how He has carried me on eagles wings since that day when my dearest friend was laid to rest. He has used many people to do this but beyond the tangible needs that other people have catered for, He has tended to my deepest needs.

My relationship with God has been influenced greatly by my relationship with my dad. I was a calm and content daughter, basking in her daddy’s love and so am I, with God. My dad told me I was beautiful so I know that I am, no matter what anyone else thinks. He identified specific things about me and praised me for them. He especially loved that I could stand up for myself and would never let myself be beaten down without putting up a fight. This fighting spirit has lasted throughout my life and kept me through such trying times.

My dad had secured me in his love and his affirmation of me so that the circumstances that tried to push me down and make me feel worthless would shake me, yes, but never could they tame me. That when the devil whispered lies that I had fallen from grandeur, and was somehow beneath the ranks of others who had made better choices in life, my soul would never accept them as truth.

I am unconditionally loved and cherished, beyond what any words could say. Christ does not tolerate me, he is captivated by me, bound to me not only by oath but by His love that sees beyond any flaws to the beautiful creation that He has made new through His blood. I know this because I know a man who esteemed me to almost the same extent. That man was my dad.

I pray that more girls and boys will say the same of their fathers and my heart breaks for all those wading through difficult relationships with their dads. I pray for reconciliation and healing and for a peace that abides through all suffering.
And to you, dad, who has a chance to love your son or daughter in this special manner that is rivaled only by Christ’s love for the church, love them and love them well. You may not have much time with them and if you do, make every second count.

Happy Father’s Day!!

Isaiah 26:8 In the path of your judgments, O LORD, we wait for you; your name and remembrance are the desire of our hearts.

Walking up and down the busy streets of Bomet town with my three-year-old in tow, I could not help but wonder why I had postponed this for so long. The boy was visibly enjoying himself, squealing in absolute wonder and excitement at the sight of anything familiar. He was such cheerful company, lifting my spirits by his little dances and antics on our way to the studio. He even sold me pretend ice cream, standing in front of a closed shop and mimicking a shopkeeper.

I had garnered the courage to ‘inconvenience’ one of my friends to bring us to town for Lem’s third birthday’s photo shoot. Something I had never done before, even for myself. It was only recently that I began appreciating the importance of taking of such photos.

Lem had been wide-eyed through the entire session, captured by the brightly painted walls and aesthetics. He studied everything in obvious intrigue and wonder, pointing for me to see every new thing he discovered in the room. We walked out of the studio elated and I was so proud of myself to have finally done it for him – for us. This was one of the moments when I inwardly recited one of my easier said than done quotes: ‘This is my motherhood, and I am going to do it right’.

But I am not always this inspired in this journey of motherhood. It has for a fact, been the hardest responsibility I have taken up in my entire existence. Even harder because I have got to do it alone and because it came about before I was fully (or even half) prepared for it. Story for another day.

My mothering has oftentimes been a slothful drag through the motions, subject to my feelings and moods. I will do what’s fun when I feel like fun and when I’m bored, we’ll all just wallow in it until I feel better. It’s an easy thing to do and most of us parents, don’t even realize that doing this is failing to fulfill our God-given duty.

We have all been there, bracing lazily through today, wondering when we can finally drop off to sleep or have a little – me time, while promising ourselves to do better tomorrow. A tomorrow we imagine will be different, better or easier than today. One that would somehow demand less of us than today does.

I’ve realized how much this ideation of tomorrow paralyzes me today. Maybe this is less of a struggle for some than it is for others like me but it could happen to mean who has not wished for the next day when The next few months when he can sleep through the night, the next year when he doesn’t have to be so closely monitored or the next few months when he’s older and can understand that sometimes momma needs just two uninterrupted minutes to make a phone call?  In the longing for the next, however, we end up losing touch with the present joys.

Imagining that some things must be sorted out first before I can fully become a happy and life-loving mom has only brought self-pity and stolen my enthusiasm for today. The end result? Dismal days with long hours of screen time, zero opportunities to learn and a cranky, defiant attitude from Lem which I must admit, is my own doing sometimes.

But this is not at all God’s desire for parents. He desires that our children be continually refreshed and nourished through His word and through the presence of parents that fan in them, a desire for rich life and creativity. A mind that has experienced the life of Christ is vibrant with life; so is a parenting that has been watered by the living water that is Christ.

God is not boring. Imagine a world where all people looked the same, all buildings and trees were the exact same height and design? Imagine having the very same names as your neighbors and classmates? What sort of boring and pathetic world would that be? Thankfully, this is not the case. We have God’s excellent taste and creativity to thank for all the beautiful sites and people we enjoy; for the twins who look exactly alike – you could never tell them apart except that one is a calm, reserved thinker and the other can never quite hold their mouth for more than a second. His own creation testifies to the creativity, wonder and awe that spring from His personality. The flowers He has made with various shapes, colors and scents; the mountains high and low, snow-filled and rocky; the flying birds in their unique colors, diets and habits are all a testament to his creativity and life.

Would we enjoy such life from God, yet in turn lock up our children, our very gifts from Him, into the cages of our own fleeting dispositions? Would we let them see the world through their ipads and tablets or create intentional spaces for them to experience the joys of God’s handiwork, including sitting down with them, playing with them and in the process, teaching them about Christ?

Just like God our father is, a God-breathed motherhood is not boring. It is full of life and overflows with creativity and beauty. This motherhood stems, not from having a perfect-problem free life but from knowing that in all circumstances, Christ fulfills us, Christ is the crown of our being. If we have Him, we have got the perfect prize, and we don’t have to live each day longing and obsessing about a better tomorrow.

For me this means thanking God for my job that allows me time to spend with my son daily. It means enjoying these moments and not just letting them slide by. It means creating fun-filled moments of play and interaction with him. It means to deliberately create time to read God’s word with my son and to sit with him, training him up in the fear of God. It means saying ‘NO’ to the temptation of having him glued for hours on the screen (even though it would allow me my much-needed respite). It means not letting the desire for a tall-dark and handsome husband who adores me take over the desire to adore Christ the Lover of my soul. It means living each day knowing that I already have received the ultimate prize of life-Jesus. It means enjoying the life I live now, knowing that even though I desire for good and better things to come, the best is already here with me. Because Jesus is here now.

Welcome to scarlet Ink With Njeri. This blog is created to share life experiences and lessons that will add to yours and hopefully inspire you to live out your calling in life.

I like the words of a song by Lenny Leblanc “everybody’s got a story and everybody’s got a song, everyone’s story is a little different, but we’ve all gone wrong, then a Savior came, and he took the blame, changed everything. ”

My stories might be different from yours but they’re birthed from the same broken world that is bound to prick and hurt, to heal and bestow. A world that has written many stories with beautiful and tragic endings alike.

None of us has a perfect story. But blessed be the name of the Lord , who brings beauty from our ashes and a garment of praise instead of mourning. A God who is near to us, dancing with us in joyous times and mourning with us in our sorrows. A God who takes individual interest in each of us and who writes and rewrites our stories with the ink that is His blood and sacrifice for our sin.

I pray that as He redeems my story yours too will be redeemed.